I'm Officially ♥-Broken

Yes my friends, today December 19, 2011 at around 9PM, I am officially heart-broken! Okay, if you are paying attention to my previous posts especially in my previous blog, then you'll have the glimpse of my story. So after almost two years of expecting, flirting (LoL) and being feelingera, finally, I now have the will and reason to stop. Because I've just saw him change his status from being single to in a relationship. 

First things first, how do I feel? I really don't know. If you are paying attention, I have already moved on. Despite the fact that there were moments of hope, I know that at that point it's quite impossible. Because if he really likes me, then why are we like this? Yup, I'm somehow hurt but more like just a pinch, and  then nothing. Because I have already prepared for this moment. I am already expecting this. Anyway, I don't really like him that much anymore. Actually, I also think that this is better. Because after everything that I have said about him, about him being bisexual, I don't think I can be with him. Imagine, everyone knows, even he knows that I suspect him. Then suddenly, everyone realizes that I like him. What would happen to me then? Shameful. LoL. 

Good thing I don't encounter him that much anymore. Him leaving was also a blessing in disguise for me. If we're still together, then I could have been hurting so much now. LoL. Aw, I remember my friend. I just wish he had also moved on. 

Anyway, I wish I would meet the right one asap. LoL.

No Heart Beats Alone

Done with another Dystopian novel. Blood Red Road by Moira Young was somehow a page-turner for me. Only "somehow" because of how it was written. I've been eyeing this novel ever since it came out - female protagonist, dystopian theme, adventure and romance. The only thing that hindered me was the goal of the protagonist - to find his kidnapped brother. I don't know, maybe I was trying to find a more romantic plot so I wasn't  buying it. But then last week,  I saw it again in the bookstore and it was like begging me with puppy eyes to buy it, so I finally gave in. LoL. 

Before reading it I added it first in my Shelfari account and found out that not a lot of people have read it but the ones who have read had great reviews so I got excited. While I was browsing the page, I was confused when it was tagged as "painful to read" and "should have been better edited." I was like what the hell was that? So I finally decided to start reading it. And I was like - Shit! What's wrong with this book and the author? I was actually regretting that I bought it - poor grammar... wrong spellings... 

At first this is how I really felt for the book: For someone who loves the English language, this book is a nightmare. And for someone who is trying to master or learn the language, BRR is a BIG NO, NO. Unless it was read by someone who loves editing more than anything, then this would be a great gift for Christmas. 

  

One of the tags says "phonetic writing" so you'll know that it was purposedly written that way. BRR is a post-apocalyptic novel and it seemed that the characters did not have proper education and they were like slaves which explains why their speech was like that. I tell you, it was really hard to read at first. But after reading it for quite some time, I finally got the hang of it. I was actually surprised that I wasn't minding it anymore since I was somehow engrossed with the story. It was like my reading skills were able to adjust with it that I was actually reading the book's an as and, yer as you're, afeared as afraid and so on. I was like automatically correcting the wrong grammars and spellings while reading it. Although there were still some phrases/sentences which I needed to read twice to understand like this one - I was winded, he says, not dyin. I was like, winded? What's winded? I read it again and realized that it's wounded. I actually thought I wouldn't be able to finish it. But the story somehow captured me which made me endure everything until the end. LoL. I'm not saying BRR is a bad novel. I like the story and the characters - they were actually really great. No damsel in distress, no cheesy love scenes, but I couldn't really say I like how it was written. I know, I understand why it was written like that - so the author can portray the characters more... but still... 

Sorry for focusing more on how it was written. BRR was a really great adventure - post apocalyptic novel. But I prefer reading proper English since it's not my first language.

I wish my Dream last Night would Come True

Grabe naman. Over yung panaginip ko last night. I wasn't sure kung bakit yung ang napanaginipan ko pero super sana mangyari yun. Although mukang imposible. Haha. Basta may kasama daw akong 2, but I couldn't remember kung sino. We were walking daw somehwere, more like strolling. And then we saw a super cute Korean guy na super familiar for me. When we saw him I felt lightheaded daw kasi super cute nya. As in OMG ang gwapo nya. Tapos I like dropped on the floor yung kunwari parang I'm going to faint. And then my 2 friends helped me stand up. Tapos I heard someone said, "di ba si Jang Keun Suk yun?" And then it hit me. Ayun! Kaya pala he looked so familiar, it's JKS! Syempre I ran to him for picture taking. Tapos as in sobrang parang fans day tapos ako yung nanalo ng first prize kasi I was going around with him. At naka hawak daw ako sa arms nya. Haha over. Super fan hanggang sa panaginip. Haaysst. I super love JKS!!! Sa lahat ng good dreams ko so far, kapag may nag-tanong sa kin kung  ano ang gusto kong maging totoo, eh malamang isa yun sa mga una kong isasagot ng walang kagatol-gatol. LoL. I miss JKS so much. Sana maipalabas na yung You're My Pet tska Love Rain. I want to hear him sing. Whew, ganyan mismo yung itsura nya sa dream ko. Yan mismo yung hairstyle. Baka yan yung huli kong nakita kagabi kaya napanaginipan ko. I'm a certified eel! LoL.

"The simple and plain and everyday things are the ones that we can never have"

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found another genre/theme for my reading list! Aside from angels and reincarnations, I have added dystopia on my shelf. I never thought I'm going to love dystopian novels especially after what happened in The Hunger Games and Divergent. First of all, I love those books especially the Hunger Games. It's just that when I read them, I could really feel for them. I hate it that their government thinks that  they are so perfect and that they can control everything. I hate that their people think that they live in a perfect society wherein everything is all right as long as they do what their leaders wanted them to do. So after those two, I tried to stay away from dystopian themes. But I am a sucker for beautiful covers. When I saw Matched, I just couldn't resist buying it. Well anyway, after reading it, my view of dystopian novels changed. I started to love the genre. I realized that what made this genre great is the fact that the main character is fighting to gain freedom and live the way he/she wants and make their own choices. 

Matched by Ally Condie is really a page-turner. I was actually surprised on how fast I was reading it. I love how well it was written. I also love the concept and the story. It was just that I am ambivalent with the three main characters. I mean, I both love and hate them - Cassia, Xander and Ky.

I love Cassia for being brave and loving. I hate her for hurting Xander. She was two-timing him for heaven's sake. Cassia, Xander is your match! Can't you just love and look at him? But then we won't have this story. LoL. Anyway, I love Xander for loving Cassia and being understanding. I hate him since I know he might be doing something in the future that might hurt Cassia, you know like desperate moves to have her back. I love Ky... I love Ky... oh wait, I couldn't think of any. Do I love Ky? Maybe I would love him in the future like Peeta. But for now, I hate him for loving Cassia. As for now, I am currently in team Xander. But I think that's going to change just like what happened to me in the Hunger Games. Before, I was definitely on team Gale until I realized that Gale is not fighting for Katniss, but Peeta is. Unless Xander won't be doing something grave to hurt Cassia, that might not change. LoL. I just hope they're going to sell paperbacks of Crossed so I can read it when it comes out next week! I am so excited. 

Angel's Fury

Two things why I picked up this book: One - Angels; and  two - Reincarnation. The title says Angel's Fury and also the synopsis at the back talks about a fallen angel who wants to bring  world destruction. But as I was reading the book, I began to doubt if this is really a fallen angel novel. The Reincarnation theme was very evident since there is no doubt that Cassie is dreaming of what happened in the past or in her previous life. The big question is who the hell is the "fallen angel"? Could it be that Cassie is the fallen  angel? Nope, definitely not. I've been reading and reading and it felt like Angel's Fury is just a Reincarnation themed novel and maybe the one who wrote the synopsis was mistaken  about the fallen angel thing.

Until Cassie saw an image of a boy with mismatched light and dark brown eyes, which she later knew as Seth - another patient in Orion. When she saw the image before falling asleep at the doctor's office, I thought maybe it was my long awaited fallen angel in the novel. But then, as the story went on, it seemed like he is also not. And then it felt like reading a psychological thriller.

Until finally, I realized that maybe I was just reading too much romantic YA fallen angel novels. Maybe the fallen angel that I've been looking for is not necessarily romantically involved  with the main character which is Cassie. I felt stupid for that especially that the synopsis did not say anything about the main character falling in love with a fallen angel. At the back it says - "he has come to torment one girl's dreams." And then it hit me. If you are paying attention closely, who is the closest thing to a villain in the story? No one else but the doctor! And so it turned out that my suspicion was right when they found the book with the story of Shemhazai and Azael. Stupid me. And so finally the book got my full attention.

Actually, the book was well written. And it somehow gave me a break from all the fallen angel romance novels that I've been reading. I love the story but it did not leave me a mark. Actually when the book ended, I was like "Ok... I'm done. Next book please." Still, I was glad that I read it because of the story of Shemhazai and Azael. Because you know, stories of fallen angels really interests and intrigues me.

The Ugly Little Duckling Incarnate

Oh well, I've just watched a very cute Thai movie entitled "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." It's actually about a girl's first love which made her do things to improve herself. She'd been liking the guy secretly ever since. The girl was actually "the ugly duckling" incarnate because at the start of the movie, she really looks ugly. But as she grew older, she started to take care of herself and eventually became the "beautiful swan." Her complexion improved, she grew her hair longer, stopped using eyeglasses, dressed more nicely and learned to put make-up on to improve her appearance. She also participated in school activities just so her prince would notice her. And when finally she had gathered the courage to confess, she learned that her prince just got a girlfriend! Of course her heart broke and she finally decided to study abroad with her father.  

Actually, when the movie was nearing its end, you can already sense that the guy also likes her but could not confess because he had promised his friend who also likes the girl that he wouldn't hit on her. So he had to endure those feelings eventually hurting them both. And when the girl was about to go abroad, the guy finally decided to let her know his feelings. All this time, he had been keeping a journal with her pictures! For all those years, he had also been liking her secretly even when she was still an ugly duckling. Anyway, I thought the ending would be sad but then they finally met again in an interview and well, everything fell into place. Nam asked if he is married already and Chon answered that he is waiting for someone to return from abroad! And the screen faded...

I find the movie very cute and nice not because of the puppy love story, but because of its message. The movie showed how powerful love can be. It showed how love can inspire somebody to change for the better. What happened with Nam was a total make-over - physically, mentally and emotionally. And even though she was hurt after the confession, well it was really heartbreaking, but if you look at the bright side, it made her a better person. It made her stronger and she was able to prove herself.

Feel na Feel ko ang September

Yung totoo, nagsisimula palang ang September pero quotang-quota na ako. By the way, September is like "the toxic month for DR nurses". Why? Because a lot of moms go on labor and give birth on September. And I do mean "a lot." December kasi is malamig, maraming holidays, maraming bakasyon  kaya most of them do it during those cold nights or maybe even days. LoL. And so, if you count for nine months - September po ang due date nilang lahat! Pati yung mga hindi pa dapat manganak nagp-preterm labor na din. Buti sana kung manganganak silang lahat ng matiwasay. Swerte na yung PROM, antibiotic lang at temp q1. Kaso yung iba GDM, so CBG and refer q4. Pahirapan ng hanap ng MROD. Meron namang pre-eclamptic, so MgSO4 IM, IV pati sa IVF, tapos 24 hour urine protein at VS q1. Syempre, pag service asahan mo na malamang sa malamang eh CS yan. Pati yung mga may sakit sa thyroid nakikigulo pa. Table dito, table doon, admit dito admit doon. Kahit  dalawa kayong magka-partner eh parang pareho kayong night. 

Sige na ako na mareklamo. Pero actually, hindi naman talaga ako nag-rereklamo, well just maybe slightly in a sense. Pero ang totoo, ang gusto ko lang naman is to share my experiences. Kasi at the end of the day, kahit pagod ka, andun pa rin yung feeling of fulfillment na napaanak mo lahat yun at nagawa mo lahat ng monitoring at naibigay lahat ng due meds ng walang mintis. Haha. I don't really hate the DR. Grabe lang kasi. Ako ba talaga ang toxic sa DR?

One Mad, Heartless and Ruthless Anime

If someone asked me how I would describe the anime Shiki in one word I'm going to say - mad. I am not writing this post to discredit, criticize nor say bad things about Shiki. I would just like to share about what I feel and think regarding this vampire anime.

First of all, I decided to watch this anime because I really need to watch a complete anime. I saw good reviews about Shiki and it was still somehow new so I chose it. And also because I would want to try a horror anime. Everyone was also saying that for a vampire anime, it was quite good since Shiki portrayed vampires the way they should be - undead, bloodsuckers who will die under the sun and not sparkle. They are also merciless here and wouldn't care to kill their human prey for their survival.

 I don't have any problem with the plot or the main story. Although I'm not so fond of the art because of some hairstyles, I still find the characters' appearance somehow adorable. My problem is how the people decided to solve their problem. For heaven's sake, it all started with the doctor. The episode when he made his wife as his test subject really left my mouth hanging open. I've watched some gory and violent anime but this is the first time I've seen something as heartless as that. Ozaki-sensei had gone mad. Even though she became a vampire, she was his wife and apparently, she could feel pain. But he just ignored everything and mercilessly sliced and staked her to death! And since it was the only way that they could think of, the whole town decided to kill every shiki by staking them on the chest to sever the circulation. The following episodes were really disturbing for me. And I thought I could stand some blood. And then I realized that it wasn't really the blood that disturbed me. It was the way they killed their former neighbors and friends. I don't know why some people consider Shiki as their favorite anime. I'm not saying it's bad or something like that. I just couldn't understand how they were able to see an anime with too much brutal killing as great. I know it was  just an anime, but still... Maybe I was taking this too seriously. But Shiki really disturbed me. I don't care if they were killing vampires. I know they should be but still, the manner was too much. I actually hated the villagers when I saw Tohru and Ritsuko. I actually don't want them to die. Just thinking that they were also staked to death made me want to cry.

Despite the disturbing scenes, two episodes struck me. Actually they were the two special episodes numbered as 20.5 and 21.5. After seeing those episodes I realized that I couldn't dislike everything about Shiki. I pitied Nao for what happened to her. She just wanted a whole family, but because of her selfishness, in the end she was left alone. I was also moved by Hasegawa's actions. Instead of letting the shikis suffer more under the sun, he stabbed them to kill them immediately. And then I got angry with  Motoko and the other villagers who killed Kanami's mother. I don't know but I felt sympathy for Kanami and her mother.

I know I am over-reacting for an anime... My imagination is just too much. Anyway, just let me be... I am just sharing my own sentiments. XD

♥ The Sweetest Drama Ever! ♥

 It might not be the best drama ever, 

but You've Fallen for Me a.k.a Heartstrings is the sweetest drama ever! 

When I first heard of this drama I suddenly got excited about it. Why? Well, it was because of Park Shin Hye and Jung Yong Hwa. I came to like those two because of You're Beautiful. Since JYH is not the main guy in YB, Heartstrings is the drama where JYH can be with PSH. I don't know why but I was really, really excited about the drama. Maybe because I wanted to see them together. It's not that I prefer JYH more than JGS, it's just that I also like Kang Shin Woo in YB a lot and it pained me seeing him hurting in YB. So Heartstrings is like the moment for them to be together and for him to be happy. And you know what, my excitement and waiting did not leave me in vain. Actually, the first few episodes were a little ordinary. One-sided love, following your dreams, falling for someone, hiding your feelings, etc... But it was fun watching it despite the ordinariness because of the characters' personalities. I was actually pissed-off with Lee Shin because of his one-sided love. But, on the 7th episode, everything changed! I know, it took 7 episodes before it got so very exciting but it was worth the wait for me! It was on that episode wherein Gyu Won finally decided to forget about Lee Shin while Lee Shin was suddenly turning his attention to Gyu Won. It was the episode when the tables were turned and it was Lee Shin's turn to be jealous. That was when I really fell in love with the series and Jung Yong Hwa! It was when he finally decided to act before he loses Gyu Won. Aw, I really, really love Lee Shin. He's soooo sweet especially about his falling star wish. He told Gyu Won - "My wish is that.. you will fall for me again."

Actually the first super kilig moment was when he told Gyu Won "do not stop liking me," but Gyu Won misunderstood it. She thought he was just playing with her and ordering her around. It was only during the falling star wish during the training camp that she finally understood.  And so everything fell in to place! Lee Shin was so sweet! Actually, he's the sweetest thing ever! He wasn't afraid to show his affections and his actions were so heart-melting!!! If I were Gyu Won, I could have fainted with his actions every single day. LoL. No seriously, his actions were super kilig! That's actually the main reason why I consider this the sweetest drama ever. I actually posted comments after every episode because I am so in love with Lee Shin. This is the reason why I suddenly fell in love with JYH and why I became a CNBlue fan. Hehehe. 

Anyway, since every drama has its problems and struggles near the end, of course not everything went smoothly for the two of them. They actually broke up which made me really cry. I felt really sad when they broke up. It was not just an ordinary sadness. It's like I could really feel their sadness and longing for one another. But still, it has to have a happy ending. And of course, they got back together at the end which made me cry again, but this time it was tears of joy. Heartstrings may not be as great as Goong, Secret Garden and You're Beautiful (my top 3), but it is definitely the sweetest drama ever for me!!! I would definitely miss Lee Shin and Lee Gyu Won!

Neon Naege Banhaesseo!!! ♥♥♥

Take Advantage! Anyway, it was just a Dream ;P

Grabe nanaman ang panaginip ko. I thought tapos na ang lahat pero last night, sinumpong nanaman ako. I dreamed that we were talking together. And then he hugged me. He usually does that naman when we see each other. Pero, eto ang ginawa ko. Syempre, we let go of each other. Tapos we talked again. After that I hugged him ulit and super tagal. As in, I was hugging him talaga. Alam mo yung I don't want to let go. Eh, he was hugging me back naman and wasn't also letting me go. Hahaha. Ang landi. I think I wasn't actually thinking na it was just a dream. Kasi usually naiisip ko yun eh. Pero kasi nga ang saya ko, hindi ko na naisip. Take advantage na lang. Hahaha. When I woke up, super natatawa talaga ako. Parang doon ko kasi binuhos yung pagka-miss ko sa kanya. And then I tried to think what triggered my dream, and naalala ko, we talked nga pala the other night on the phone. Ang totoo, magchismisan ba daw sa unit phone? Buti wala kaming patient. Haha. Nagkamali kasi kami ng tawag then he asked for me. Kaasar nga lang nag-ring yung direct line kaya kelangan nang ibaba kasi walang sasagot.

So ayon, almost confirmed. Actually, 99.99% confirmed na meron ngang feelings si friend sa kanya. Kasi, uso nga daw ang burahan ng friends sa FB. Tapos may nakapansin daw na pag nag-post sya, may counter post si friend. And then nagtataka sya kasi parang wala naman syang nababasa. And then he realized na friend deleted him from his list. Actually, nung una hindi nya sinasabi kung sino. So hinulaan ko. Kasi nung una nag-huhulaan nga kami ng mga taong involved sa mga chismis. I asked him kung taga-saan, kasi may idea na ako kung sino. I asked kung nasa 1st floor, he said yes. I asked kung lalaki b yan, he said hindi masyado... ewan sabay oo. Adik. Eh di yun na yun.

Haaysst... Ang complicated talaga ng mga tao at mga pangyayari...

Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water. (Antoine Rivarol)

First time I cried outside of my comfort zone in front of someone I least expected  to see me cry. You know me. I'm such a cry-baby for tv series/drama, books, movies, anime and manga. But for real life experiences, I don't usually cry unless super sama ng loob ko. And as far as I can remember I've only cried due to family circumstances and when I lose someone I love (as in death), or when someone close to me is leaving. I don't cry because I failed an exam, or when I quarreled with my friends or when someone got angry at me big time. I also don't cry in front of friends. As far as I can remember I haven't cried in front of someone else except in front of my parents. I'm a little tough when it comes to real life problems and I don't want people to see me as iyakin due to problems. Pero last night, I broke my composure. Ayoko sana talagang umiyak, pero hindi ko na napigilan. Hindi naman super iyak. Konting tears lang kasi nga pinipigilan ko. Baka naman kasi sabihin nag-papaawa ako.

Kinausap kasi ako nung isa sa mga tumanggi. Wala daw talaga syang narinig na sinabi ko. Sabi ko, sya hindi ko sure kung andun, pero yung isa super sure talaga ako. Kasi nga naalala ko pa yung sinagot nya. Ate, hindi ako ganun ka desperado para mag-imbento. At hindi ko yun imagination. Hindi pa rin ako ulyanin para makalimutan ko yun. Sayang lang talaga hindi ko maalala kung sino-sino pa yung ibang andun. Hindi ko na rin nga maalala kung saan ko sinabi- kung sa pantry o sa lounge. Pero 100% sure ako na sinabi ko yun. Ngayon, kung tinanggi nya yun dahil nakalimutan nya o kinalimutan nya lang, bahala na sya. Masyado kasi silang nagpa-dala kaagad sa inis. Dapat talaga alamin mo muna both sides bago ka mag-react.

Alam mo yung, ako na nga yung may pinaka-onting sinabi at no harm intended, tapos ako pa pala yung napasama sa huli. Samantalang pag ako ang naglaglag sa kanila, mas malalala pa ang mangyayari dahil sa dami ng sinabi nila, which I won't do kasi alam kong I'm better than them. Anyway, tutal naman, kahit hindi ko naiintindihan, naniniwala daw sya sa kin pati yung isa nyang friend at friends ko. Ok na ako dun, at least walang tension sa min. Sana nga. Hindi ko pa kasi rin sya nakikita ulit. She just texted me about that. At sinabi nya talaga na naniniwala sya sakin. And I'm so thankful for that. And salamat din na according to them, eh tapos na daw ang lahat... Sana tahimik na ulit. Yun nga lang hindi kami nagpapasinan nung isa. Bahala na kung anong mangyayari. Subukan lang nyang tirahin ako, baka hindi ako makapag-pigil. Laglagan ba gusto nya? Baka hindi na sya makabangon sa mga sinabi nya.

Anyways, I feel so much hatred in me. Parang ako ba toh? Parang ang sama ko naman. Haayst manonood na lang muna ako ng Azkals. Ang totoo, nadadala ako. Kelangan tumitili. Hahaha.

Treat people as you would like to be treated. Karma's only a bitch if you are.

Ha! Too much happened because of my one comment due to hunger, tiredness and for feeling irritated for people who cannot stop complaining. 

That day was very busy as in it might have been the busiest duty so far for me. People were tired and hungry and were all trying to finish everything so they could sign off already. After transferring all our patients from the Recovery Room to their own rooms, I started counting our E-meds. But then I suddenly remembered that there's still another procedure that was about to start and the person assigned to it wouldn't be able to handle it due to some circumstances. I decided to take a look to see what can I do to help when I heard someone yelled. Actually, it was more of "pasigaw". I did not say she was "nagsisigaw or nagwawala". Ang sabi ko, pasigaw. I was taken aback and decided to just continue on my own business. She was saying something about the anesthesiologist inducting and the patient having no monitors. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari sa kin, siguro ang una kong na feel eh medyo nairita ako. Kasi super busy namin tapos may nagre-react na agad from someone na kapapasok pa lang. 

Pag dating sa pantry, almost everyone was there and out of curiosity kung alam ba nila kung bakit may ganong nangyari, I told them about the incident. I said na naaawa ako dun sa naiwan kasi super toxic na nga sya tapos may ganong pang comment. Syempre yung 2 kanya-kanyang reaksyon din. "Hindi pa nga sya senior ganyan na sya." "Hindi ba nya nakitang sobrang busy?" "Sana pagka-pasok kasi nya pinuntahan na nya agad yung patient." and so on... Tapos nakidagdag pa yung nakakulay pink. Hanggang sa kanila nga daw tumaas ang boses. After that, she went looking for me to ask about a pack. I went inside to explain to her about it and what happened and told me something. She said that she's not mad or irritated dun sa naiwan. Sana lang daw may nag-asikaso, kasi may mga nakita daw syang wala nang ginagawa. May sinabi pa nga syang name. And then I went outside again and told them na "Hindi naman  pala si ano ang pinaparinggan nya. Parang in general. May mga nakita daw kasi syang mga wala nang ginagawa. Tska baka nga na-toxic lang din sya at nabigla kaya tumaas ang boses." 

I was very sure I said that kasi nga gusto kong bawiin yung previous comment ko. Ang unfair kasi  for her. Hindi ko pa nga alam yung side nya nasabi ko na agad yun, tapos ang dami na nilang nasabi. Hindi man ako super sure kung sino yung mga andun, pero super sure ako about sa isang tao. Kasi sumagot pa nga sya ng "Sino naman yang in general, sana kasi mag-sabi sya names." Feeling guilty ka ba teh? - yan ang unang pumasok sa isip ko when I heard her say that. 

Tapos akala ko tapos na. I had my off-night at pag-kapasok ko lumaki na ang issue. Nagkapasa-pasa na ang kwento at kung sino-sino na ang nadamay at nakidamay. Pinag-tagpi-tagpi ko ang kwento at lumabas na parang ako pala ang nag-simula ng lahat. Inamin ko na agad bago pa lumala. Inexplain ko yung side ko at thank God, ok naman kami. Sabi nya naniniwala daw sya sakin. Kaso nga pag naiipit na ang mga tao, laglagan na. Tinanggi daw nung 2 na binawi ko yung sinabi ko. Wala daw akong sinabi na hindi naman para sa naiwan yung reaction nya. So ako pa yung lumabas na nag-iimbento. Samantalang parang ang ginawa ko lang naman eh pinainan sila, kinagat naman nila ng mahigpit. Ang totoo, nobela?

Finally... After 8 Months of Waiting...

I just came home from watching my most awaited movie of the year - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2!!! I so so so love it!!! My favorite parts were there and they did not fail to make me cry. If I'm the only one watching, I could have bawled out there at the movie house.

I really love the Doe Patronus part. I told you I would be really emotional while watching it. I think I started crying when they were starting to put up protection around Hogwarts. And then I was crying so much when Snape died and while Harry was watching at the Pensieve. I was also crying when the Resurrection Stone activated. And finally, during the epilogue when Harry was talking to Albus - "Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin  and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew." Aww, I really, really love that line. Just reading it makes me tear up.

I wanted to watch it again. My only regret is that I should have watched it in IMAX. Anyway, IMAX or not, 3D or not, HP is HP! The HP series will always have a special place in my heart. I practically grew up with the books and the movies. I've been waiting for it every year, ever since I first saw the movie (2001) until the very last book, and now, the movie. I am a Potter fan and will always be one! I LOVE HARRY POTTER!

Expecto Patronum!!!

Is it Love? Or is it just the Curse that brings us Together?

What if you find your Soul Mate... 

At the wrong time?

I'm done with the third Fallen book  - Passion by Lauren Kate and some of my questions had been answered! 

Before anything else, I could not promise that this is going to be SPOILER-FREE so you have to proceed at your own risk. And also, I'm not writing this to criticize how the novel was written or something like that. I'm not really entirely after how it was written, I'm more after the story. So if I'm praising it too much, that's because I love the Fallen series!

Until your soul is settled in a new life, 

Daniel's whole existence is a kind of torture.

I love, love Passion  so much because it told me what I've been wanting to read from the Fallen series - the past lives of Daniel and Luce. In this third installment, you could really feel the love between Daniel and Luce, especially Daniel's. Usually, I would hate books like this one because of the super-mushy and everyday-is-love content - both the main characters were greatly head-over-heels with one another. Actually I think that was one of the reasons why I hated Twilight. But while I was reading Passion, there was no hate or the feeling of  "eew, so much romance" thing in me... Maybe because I love the Fallen series so much and I love Daniel and Luce so much I can read whatever is in it. LoL. 

"I'm the one who bursts into flames."

"And he's the one who's left alone. 

The age-old question: Which is worse?"

Anyway, I have no comment until the character of Bill, the Scale and what he can do was introduced. I told myself, "What is he, Luce's fairy godmother in the form of a gargyole?" I actually somehow questioned his inclusion because it felt out of place for me. Luce could have discovered cleaving on her own and stole clothes from those era so she could fit in. Maybe Bill wasn't really needed. I thought he was just a guide. Until my big strashot question was answered. I was like "Maybe he really has to be there to answer some questions." Maybe there are still more to come that only Bill could do. Until Bill transformed and finally, finally revealed who he is. I was like "Oooh, Lucifer, why not?" That was when I finally understood why Bill was included. The real antagonist should appear now. So the tailored black suit man in the racetrack was him.

His love flowed without breaking, without stopping. 

Whereas Luce's love was wiped clean with every death, 

Daniel's grew over time, across all eternity.

Luce's quest should have been to find the loophole to end their curse. But what really happened is that by visiting and cleaving with her past lives, instead of finding the real solution, she just realized and understood how Daniel love her so much. I actually thought that it would be her who would discover the answer but the only thing that happened is her, loving Daniel, doubting him, understanding him, loving him again, giving up hope and then finally, believing in their love. Yes, Luce found a way to end it by using the starshot but it wasn't actually the answer. And it was Daniel who actually found it.

I will never give up on you. Even if it takes forever.

While I was reading Chapter 20 - Journey's End, I got really excited. I don't know why but I really like that chapter -  aside from revealing who cursed them and why, and finding the answer how to end it, I love the story of the Throne, Lucifer, the angels choosing sides - the Fall... Maybe I just really love angels.

I'll always choose you.

Every single lifetime, I'll choose you. 

Just as you have always chosen me. Forever.

Since Passion ended that way, I'm expecting a war among angels or something like that in Rapture. Maybe the Elders of Zhsmaelim and the Outcasts would be back in there in action.

I will wait for you as long as it takes. 

I will love you every moment across time.

I was re-reading my post about Torment- I''ll show you how angels dance - in my previous blog and when I got to the part were I listed some questions, I was smiling because finally, I have answers for some of them! Especially the big starshot question which had been bugging me ever since. LoL. 

Fly me away.

I'm having doubts if the end would be a happy one. No matter how true their love is, Daniel is still an angel and Luce is a mortal. Would it be happy OR/BUT heartbreaking? Would the ending be sweet AND/OR sad?

To the soul of the one true thing he loved the most, 
wherever she was. 

I now reaffirm my choice: I choose Lucinda over everything. 

And I will until the end.  

Anyway, I have to wait for ANOTHER YEAR for the big Angel War!!!

Her choice then  will be your redemption 

or the final seal on your punishment.

When angry, count four; When very angry, swear. (Mark Twain)

The other day, I was awakened by a text message from my friend to open our group's page. Meron daw kasing umamin kung ano ba talagang nangyari dun sa bx season 1.


At para hindi mag-mukhang nobela, gawin natin in bullet form with legends: I: Incident o Pangyayari, R: my Reaction, C: Conclusion!!!

I: May nakakita nga daw dun sa gunting while they were doing their rounds. 

R: May nakakita? Eh halos baligtarin namin ang buong complex wala naman kaming nakita. Wag nilang igiit na hindi kami nag-hanap kasi lahat ng drawer at cabinet nabuksan ko pero wala talaga. At hindi lang ako ang naghanap!

C: May nag-tago.

I: The one who found it gave it to the one in charged of things. But instead of telling us that they've already found it, they hid it from us to teach us a lesson.

R: Wow, so sa pagbabayad namin, matututo kami ng leksyon. Kaya lang hindi pa rin ako natuto ayon nga dun sa nagsiwalat.

C: Feeling righteous.

I:  May isang nag-lalabas ng sama ng loob dahil pinag-bibintangan daw namin sya na sya ang nag-tago.

R: Malamang sya ang mapagbibintangan, eh sya yung nadulas at sya lang yung nag-sasalita. Parang sya lang yung nakakaalam kaya malamang sya  nga yung mapaghihinalaan na nag-tago. Isa pa sya yung pilit na nag-open nung topic na yun at laging nag-tatanong kung nakabayad na ba daw kami. Sabi nga nung isang nakikisawsaw, misunderstanding lang at hindi nila kami masisisi. Kami na ang mali.

C: Defensive. Este, biktima pala. Kami na ang judgmental.

I: May isang nakikisawsaw na hindi ko alam kung pasasalamatan ko o kaiinisan ko. May mga post sya na pinatatamaan nya ang salarin at ang mga feeling righteous. Pero sa sunod nya namang post kala mo kung sinong napakabait  at mabuting kaibigan.

R: Pinagtatanggol nya kami kaso lang kung maka-react sya kala mo nag-bayad sya. 

C: Plastik...

I: Siniwalat ang mga panyayari at dinefend ang mga sarili. And then she condemned kung sino man yung tunay na salarin.

R: Wala akong masabi.

C: Hugas-kamay.

I: Etong post ko na toh.

R: Bahala na pag may nakadiskubre nito.

C: Patay ako. Magkita-kita na lang kami sa korte, este sa meeting. Good luck sa akin.

Ang totoo, pinagulo lang lalo ang sitwasyon. Nakakaasar. Sana hindi na lang inamin. Lalo lang tuloy lumayo ang loob ko sa kanya. At kung sino man yung nag-tago ng season 1 at season 2, mag-tago ka na at wag ka nang magpapa-kita. Ang dami mong buhay na ginulo!!!

Nothing is so aggravating than calmness (Oscar Wilde)

Before anything else, follow-up muna about sa bone rongeur ko. Haha, nakita na ang ayaw mag-patulog na screw!!! May kuya daw na nakakita. Buti na lang nasabi ko yun kina kuya. Kundi, baka tinago lang nila yun or nilagay kung saan-saan. Haha, super saya talaga. Makakatulog na ulit ako. Basta next time, magtatanong na talaga ako. Haha... 

Anywayz, tomorrow would be Puerto Galera day! Ang usapan, dapat mamayang gabi nasa hospital na kami para maiwasan na ang late. Maaga kasi kaming aalis bukas. Kaya ang plano, tatambay na lang muna kami sa Blue Wave para mag pre-meds. Super excited na ako kasi marami kaming donated pocket money at free lodging! Kelangang sulitin ang 2 days na malayo sa amoy ng dugo at laman. 

Ang totoo, medyo disappointed ako pero hindi super. Kasi I was expecting na sasama yung isa naming friend na medyo malayo na. Although hindi rin ako masyado umasa na super makakasama ko sya kasi kasama rin namin yung kabarkada nya. Wala lang, I was just  missing the old days na magkakasama kami. Super masaya pa naman kasi kasama ko pareho yung 2 best friends ko pati yung isang senior na ka-close ko at kasama ko sa kalokohan at chismisan. 

Sana hindi bumagyo. Kasi sasakay kami ng bangka at para makapag-beach kami at banana boat!

"Care of" Day

Ano bang meron ngayon at puro care of ako? At ang totoo, puro instruments pa. Hindi tuloy ako matahimik dahil dun sa pangalawa. Akala ko, magiging payapa na ang araw ko dahil floater ako. Nilayo na nila ako sa DR at RR at binigyan ng case na ortho sa room 5. Akala ko talaga wala ng problema, pero meron pa rin pala.

Okay, dun muna tayo sa una. So for the 2nd time around, may nang-aswang nanaman ng gintong bandage scissors. At eto pa, ang malala, sa akin nawala! Ang totoo, ni hindi ko man lang nga nakita yung adik na gunting na yun. Eto kasi yung nreceive kong NSD. Ang sabi ng outgoing, nilagay nya daw dun yung  b.x., kaso nakalimutan nyang i-endorse sa kin. Ako, naman tiwala na normal NSD set lang yun. Ang dami pa rin kasing LR kaya dire-diretso ang pag-eendorse ng mga patient. Tapos ang nangyari pa, hindi ako yung nag-after care ng room dahil wala na akong panahon para mag-after care. Kaya hindi ko talaga nakita yung gunting na yun. Hindi rin ako yung nag-hugas kasi wala talaga akong oras. Meron pa rin kasi akong myomectomy. Ang totoo alam ko kung sino talaga ang nag-after care. Kaya lang baka sabihin pinag-bibintangan ko, kaya wag na lang. Ang sinabi ko, hindi ko alam. Anyways, so ano bang kasalanan ko sa b.x. na yun, at sa kin nanaman natapat? Samantalang wala talaga akong kaalam-alam. Pero siguro naman hindi magsisinungaling yung ka-endorse ko. Hati ang opinyon ng mga tao. May nag-sasabing kasalanan nung isa kasi hindi nya inendorse. Yung iba naman, ako daw kasi nireceive ko pa rin. Sabi pala nung residenteng nag-assist, andun nga daw yng bx pero hindi nagamit. Kasi hindi na kelangan. Hindi daw nila nagalaw at andun lang daw hanggang matapos. Hindi nalaglag sa basurahan o natago sa linen. Ayaw ko ng away kaya sige na lang. Kung mag-babayad eh di mag-bayad basta hati kami. Ang isa pa palang nakakaasar, 24 nawala yun pero night  na ng 25 nalaman. Kamusta naman ang endorsement? Mag-pakasaya na lang yung nag-tago.

Punta na tayong room 5. Syempre medyo may takot kasi nagttransform yung surgeon na yun pag ongoing na. At nakakatakot pag nag-kataon. Ako pa naman ang scrub. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng matapos ang case namin nang hindi ako nasisigawan o napapagalitan. Haha! Kaso umiral ang pagiging hesitant ko. Nung binalik kasi sa kin yung rongeur na double action, parang may mali. Hindi ko saya ma-lock. Super iniisip ko kung bakit ganun. Tiningnan ko pa ng matagal pero hindi ko rin maisip. Dumating pa sa point na itatanong ko na dun sa technician namin kung ganun ba talaga yun, pero ewan ko kung bakit hindi ko tinanong. As in ilang beses kong tinangkang itanong, parang may bumubulong na itanong ko na, pero hindi ako nag-tanong. Nang matapos na ang lahat-lahat, nalaman ko na kulang daw pala ng screw. Takte, asan na yung screw na yun? Hindi ko alam kung pano ko hahanapin. Paano kung nalaglag sa patient at hindi nila napansin? Tapos nai-sara nila at andun pa? Hindi lang ako patay dahil nasira yung rongeur. Mas patay ako dahil naiwan sa loob yung screw! As in tiningnan ko yung x-ray kaso hindi naman ako marunong tumingin. Pero tingin ko parang wala naman. Isa pa makikita naman nila yun, kaya siguro wala naman dun. Sana naman po mahanap yung screw. 

Kaasar. Bakit ba hindi ko kasi tinanong. Next time talaga mag-tatanong na ako. Outing pa naman namin next week. Sana kung machu-churva man ako, wag na akong paabutin ng Puerto Galera.

Lesson learned: MAGTANONG

Puro Bebe Nanaman!

Ang totoo, ayaw akong tantanan ng mga nanganganak. Kelangan bang pangatawanan ang pagiging toxic sa DR? Tapos may kambal nanaman kanina. Footling breech kaya ayun, stat CS. At lahat sila kanina, Baby Boy! So ang nangyari, may NSD ako, stat CS yung partner ko. Tapos Myomectomy ako, stat CS ulit yung partner ko. May konting break pero hindi pa rin enough para matapos namin ang papers namin. Labo-labo talaga yung LR namin kanina. Haha... Tapos NSD ako na muntik pang ma-CS dahil super tagal naka-table ayaw bumaba ng bebe. Yung partner ko Vaginal Hysterectomy, tapos may stat CS ulit at buti pinahawak sa iba. Grabe na talaga. Muntik pa akong ma-straight kanina. Kasi nga super sakto lang sila, eh ako on-call. Kung na-CS yung patient ko, straight talaga ako. Buti kung OT lang. Eh super pagod na talaga ako at ang sakit na ng ulo ko. Buti na lang talaga. Hahaha... As in na ba-bad trip na ako kanina kasi ayaw pang lumabas ng bebe. Pati yung anes parang naiinis na rin kasi sa kanya din yung Vag Hyst. Buti na lang talaga. Tapos ang totoo, nakita ko yung logbook, puro pangalan ko yung nakalagay since yesterday. Nag-iba lang yung partner ko. Grabe talaga. Epekto ba yun nga double off ko at payback time para sa mga chillux kong duty? Tapos off na ulit ako bukas. Kamusta naman kaya pag-balik ko?

WarZone

Me and my partner just fought another war this morning. Actually, pagka-pasok ko pa lang at nang malaman kong twin pregnancy yung nasa loob, alam na... Traumatic kasi ang una kong twin pregnancy na patient. Haha... Kasi yung una, NSD si Baby A. Pag dating kay B, biglang sumigaw ng stat CS! Eh medyo magulo nun kasi ang daming using residente. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit block buster kami nun. Kaya medyo  nahirapan kaming kumilos kasi kelangan pa naming palabasin silang lahat para makagalaw kami. Kaya kanina, naisip ko... ay sows... Bakit hindi na lang  i-CS para mas madali ang buhay. Ayun, nag-table ng 7cm. Pag dating ng doctor mga 8 cm na ata, una daw ang cord. Syempre may sumigaw  na ng stat CS! At dahil masikip dun sa suite, hindi ko alam kung pano nga ba kami nakakilos nun. Buti may isang nag-aantay sa kabilang suite na CS. Kaya ayun, katakot-takot na hilahan ng gamit ang nangyari. Pati yung TAHBSO sa kabila, nahilahan din ng gamit. Grabe talaga. Buti sanay na din mag-DR yung partner ko kahit junior. Ang sakit sa ulo. Buti na lang medyo na-late yung consultant namin. Kaya kahit pano, nakatulong ako sa twins. Masaya mag-paanak at mag-foot print ng bata. Pero hindi masaya pag ganun ka-toxic! Tapos nag-kakagulo na nga, nakakatawa pa yung iyakan ng mga bata. Parang may pusa. Haha... 4 ba naman sila kanina. Natawa tuloy ako dun sa Nursery Staff. Kasi lahat dun ang cord care. Nung nag-baby out kami, sabi ko sa staff: Mam, dito daw po iccord care yung isa. Tawag na lang po ako ng isa pa sa taas? Sabi nung staff: Ay hala, wag na. Kaming 3 lang ang staff. Wala na dun. Haha... Ang toxic talaga kanina. Buti hindi halimaw yung mga doktor kanina. Hahaha...

My world was, and is, me and death.

Meridian by Amber Kizer was a so-so book for me. I wasn't happy nor disappointed with it. Again, I picked up this book because of the involvement of angels. In this novel, Meridian, the main character, is a Fenestra -the half-angel, half-human link between the living and the dead. The moment I finally understood what a Fenestra is, Fallen Angel by Heather Terrell  came into my mind. According to Kizer's  novel, a Fenestra is a Window to the Afterlife. Fenestras like Meridian, help the souls of the dead pass through the window to the afterlife. If a soul fails to pass through, it is either reincarnated until it can pass through or lost and becomes a ghost or something like that. While in Terrel's novel, the fallen angels who were trying to have redemption are the ones facilitating the after life journeys of the dead. And in both novels, the antagonists/ villains were trying to snatch away those souls. 

Maybe they weren't really so similar but because of these, I could not help comparing them.  Unlike FA, which is like made up of 85% romance, 10% explanations, and 5% of the other stuffs, M focused more on the explanation part and lesser romance except for the last parts. But I'm not saying M is better because of that. Actually, it  somehow bored me because of too much explaining done. If Meridian is trying to fulfill her  duty as a Fenestra, I think it would be better if they focused more on practical applications rather than explaining things to her. And take note, everyone was explaining things to her - her mother, Auntie and Tens. It felt like, the author did not like describing so much action so she decided for the characters to just talk and talk and explain things to Meridian. 

It also felt like she was skipping things. For example, when their pet Custos was injured, it was like the next day she's okay already since she's moving around a lot, and her wound wasn't mentioned anymore. The last few chapters were also happening so fast and  everything was very convenient for the protagonists. Perimo was hunting them so they needed a place to hide. They entered a secret passage which led to a cave filled with supplies and other amenities they needed including toilet and bathroom, which according to Tens, was made by Charles. And then a few hours after, Perimo just found them which started the final battle for this installment. But since Tens was sick, Meridian decided to let Custos out to ask for help. And for their convenience, Josiah came to the rescue and shot Perimo. Then Señora Portalso and her doctor daughter came to save Tens. And luckily, according to them it was just Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and not poison of some kind. And then  Sarah came after to give them their pick-up truck and just decided to walk back home so they can escape the town. And so they left the Revelation with Custos looking for another Fenestra...The End...

Over all, I find Meridian more bearable than Fallen Angel. Sorry for comparing it. They were just the first books that somehow did not go with my expectations. And I actually thought that YA books, especially those about angels would not bore or disappoint me up to the point that I have to blog  them so that I can write  about my frustrations.

Well, that's life. Maybe they weren't just my taste.

Ang Bes ay singular form ng Beses

LoL. Actually kanina ko lang napansin yun. We ate breakfast at Jollibee kasi and we were exchanging stories. And then I said something with nung isang bes. Pinansin nung kasama ko. Yun pala, some people were trying to correct her when she is saying isang bes. Ano daw yung bes? Dapat isang beses. Bakit daw bitin. Ewan ko. Basta hindi nila alam yung bes. Parang mali. Dapat beses. Kahit isa pa yan o marami, dapat beses. Kasi tagalog daw yun. Tapos natawa kami kasi may explanation sya. Kasi daw, ang beses ay plural form ng bes. Kaya pag isa lang - bes; pag madami - beses. Tawa talaga kami ng tawa. Actually hindi ko yun napapansin. At ngayon lang may nag-sabi sakin about dun. Siguro whenever I say that phrase, parang mabilis lang kaya hindi halata na bitin. Naisip ko, siguro ganun sa Cavite. Syempre kahit pare-pareho kaming Tagalog, may mga salitang kaka-iba din. And then sabi nung isa kong kasama napansin nga din daw nya yun sa mga ka-batch nyang tga- Cavite rin. Haha... natatawa na lang kami kanina...

Anyway, konti na lang matatapos na ang night duty. Feeling ko ang dami kong care-of kanina. Kasi 7am na ko natapos. Nag-toxic kasi kami ng mga bandang 2am onwards. Sabay 2 CS, tapos may nakikigulong NSD service. Tapos may umextra pang ex-lap AP. Tapos ang dami  pang nag-sick leave at kung anu-ano pa. Tapos nag-hatid pa ko at nag-sundo. Hindi na nga ako nakapag-bilang. Nag-churva na lang ako. Haha... Off pa naman ako. Bukas ko pa ng gabi malalaman kung anong nangyari. Bahala na. Aligaga pa kasi. Grabe naman kasi sila mag-sabay-sabay. Wala man lang konsiderasyon. Pwede namang gawin ng maaga hindi pa ginawa. Eh dun din naman ang punta nun.

Fishy Breakfast

After having an almost smooth  night duty, I had breakfast with two of my best friends. Since it's Good Friday, we had fish fillet, hence the title. And also because of the stories we exchanged while eating. 

So kanina, na-realize ko na hindi na talaga ako pwedeng bumalik. Kasi masasaktan ko lang ang kaibigan ko. And I don't want to be awkward with him. So siguro pareho na nga lang kaming mananaginip. Haha... Ang pangit kasi...basta may mali. Halatang-halata naman kahit ndi sabihin. Ilang beses kong sinubukang itanong pero hindi ko talaga kaya. Feeling ko kasi super masasaktan ko sya. Hayaan ko na lang syang mag-move on.

Tapos syempre chismisan about sa mga bagay-bagay. Basta about sa mga ka-toxican at sikreto ng mga tao. Ayaw kong isa-isahin kasi I would just feel guilty lang. LoL.

Hay nako... na-miss ko tong mga toh. Sana makalabas ulit kami at makapag-bonding. Sana kasama rin yung isa para kumpleto. Kaya lang hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong status nung dalawa. Makahanap lang talaga ako ng tyempo at lakas ng loob, paaaminin ko yung isa. Talaga lang ha...

How could you react when evil itself told you that you are the answer to its prayers?

Never mind the title of my post. I just like that quote from the book. LoL.

Before anything else, we all  have different tastes. These are just my own opinions. So if you feel like you really want to read it then go read it. I am not trying to influence you or something. I'm just trying to express myself. And even though the next paragraph would  be safe for those who haven't read the book yet, after that, there would be SPOILERS ahead. So proceed at your own risk.

After reading Fallen Angel by Heather Terrell, I'm not really sure what to say. I couldn't put into words how I really feel about the novel. I don't know... while I was reading the book, it felt like something was wrong. I was reading it as fast as I can, so that I can finish it already and move on to a better book. I'm not saying it's not good. Heather Terrell is a good writer but it felt like I was only reading a fan fiction. A fan fiction wherein an avid fan of angels tried to make a love story between two nephilim. It felt like she kept on skipping about some details by explaining them hastily so we can all jump to the good parts... Or maybe it was just because of the super fast development of Ellie and Michael's relationship. It was just their first date and Ellie was already being lustful, I thought I was reading lime (fan fiction). Sorry if it's kind of complicated and hard to understand because as I've said earlier, I'm having a hard time expressing into words about how I feel about Fallen Angel.

As for the characters, I wanted to hate Ellie but I'm also trying to understand her. The facebook stunt was ridiculous. She's a half angel, not a martyr. And then when Michael came with Zeke, I was trying to figure out why would she feel betrayed? Michael was just trying to also figure out what they are. Fine, she already heard from her parents some bits about herself, but it wasn't complete yet. Wouldn't she want to know more about the whole story? Then after hearing what Zeke has to say, that would be the right time for her to run. She didn't even know at first if Zeke was really bad or was just testing her.

And instead of finding out the truth from a credible source, she ran and tried to find a professor who studies about vampires. For heaven's sake, she should have researched about angels not vampires! Everyone was telling her she's connected with angels and she came running to ask about vampires.

Then there was Ruth... It felt like Ellie needs a good sidekick best friend who will support her and help her keep her secrets and uncover her true self, so a very understanding character was formed in the name of Ruth. And so, there she was, helping, trusting and forgiving Ellie. And just so she can have her own life, Jamie came in to the picture.

And then there's Michael, the knight in shining armor. Zeke said he was just there to protect the Elect One. With that, it felt like his character faded. So he was just there to protect the princess,  cheer her up and make her fall in love. It could have been better if Michael sided with the bad angels.  I actually thought at first that it would be like that. Then they would have been enemies and then there would be forbidden love... which sounds more exciting.

Still, I love how the story was supported with research. I love angels and I'm greatly fascinated about their stories. That's the main reason why I picked up this book. Although I'm not sure if I would still be reading the next one.

My love for Secret Garden

My eyes are soooo tired for crying. The last few episodes of Secret Garden made me cry so much. I am really glad that I finally decided to watch it. I could have missed a very splendid drama. I am so in love with Secret Garden. The characters and actors are awesome and the story and  themes are great. Love, dreams, hope, family, rivalries, sacrifice, destiny... I so love the combination... 

Also, there were no hateful characters among the main ones. No hateful characters means no desperate moves, except for the mother. When I say desperate moves, I mean those things that the supporting characters do so that the main girl and guy would break up. Those are the things that they do before they finally give up. At first you would think that you are going to hate Yoon Seul, but actually you are going to love her starting from the VIP party.

The series was just starting and you could already feel the attraction between the characters of Kim Joo Won and Gil Ra Im. You're going to love their fights because despite what they were showing, deep inside a beautiful love was already starting. That is actually what made me fall in love with the series. It was just starting and you could already feel the love. LoL. 

I know that  it's going to be very difficult being with you. But I think that the pain I will endure from being with you will be more bearable. Than not to see you. - Gil Ra Im

The last few episodes are really awesome. I couldn't stop crying especially when Kim Joo Won decided to switch their bodies to save Ra Im. I love the parts wherein Joo Won was reading the Little Mermaid note from Ra Im and while he was writing his letter for Ra Im. I literally wouldn't stop crying. I could really feel their love for another. It was so great. 

Seeing her peaceful face... In her dreams, at this moment. I am not there. Maybe that's why she is, right now... waiting for me. It seems that she will be waiting for me...until I get there. Tomorrow too. The day after tomorrow too. - Kim Joo Won

Another reason why I love this drama, is because of the last episode wherein they finally decided to live as husband and wife even without the wedding ceremony. That's how I actually want a series to end. I want to see them get married and live together. And to top it all, they had three adorable children! Aw, so cute. Even though it was a still bit sad since the mother still hasn't approved of them yet. But at least, they're happily living together.

The last few parts were pure greatness. I love how they showed the other characters with voice overs. And the very last part where they showed Ra Im and Joo Won at the funeral made me cry again. The end was so great. Destiny is really awesome. Omo, I am crying again. That's how great it is. Even just thinking about it makes me cry. 

Sorry if it feels like I'm exaggerating about Secret Garden. It's just that, it's been years since I've finally watched another great drama that made me feel this way. Sure, there are others which are also great, but I never felt this way again ever since Goong/ Princess Hours. 

I am so in love with Kim Joo Won and Gil Ra Im's love story.