How ironic it is that while everyone was smiling and dancing in Grey's Anatomy Season 11 Finale, I was crying. That made me actually question my sanity. But hey, how the hell would I be able to control my tears if they had just shown Derek Shepherd on a cruise ship smiling while leaving (which turned out to be) his last message to his wife? Also that scene felt like it sealed Derek's exit from the show. It was like Shonda saying "hey Derek fanatics say goodbye to your beloved doctor because this is going to be his last scene ever!" Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined him dying on that show! Couldn't he just exit the series like Cristina? Why kill him Shonda? Why!? I don't really know why she decided to kill the character because I did not bother finding out because I don't want to read any excuses or whatever. But of course if you think about it, Derek would not really choose D.C. or his career over his family which is what actually was happening before he got freaking hit by a...a... was it a truck? (I couldn't even remember what hit his car because I was so shocked when it happened.) So it was not really logical to make him go like Cristina. But still! She did not have to kill him!
The moment he got critical, I knew he was going to die. He had been fatally wounded before and was saved by Cristina. He survived a plane crash. It was just very unrealistic for Shonda to save his character one more time. But there was a thread of hope telling me that he was a major character and Meredith's husband so he could not die and he was detrimental to the show, or so I believed. When they were pulling the plug, I was still in denial. I told myself this is not happening. My tears just kept on falling. I bawled. Heart breaking was an understatement. It was devastating! For 8 years that I've been watching Grey's Anatomy, I am emotionally invested with the show or rather with Derek Shepherd. Anger, despair... I wouldn't see my favorite doctor ever again. Shonda should just end the series for good for all I care.
But at the end of the day, life still goes on. Derek Shepherd was just a fictional character. But still... How could I ever watch Grey's again without him!? Chasing Cars and How to Save a Life are two of my favorite songs which I came to love because of the series. But because of Derek's death, and because they were playing it during those heart breaking/ devastating scenes, I could not listen to them any longer without feeling grief... Without seeing Meredith in my mind watching the nurse or whoever it was unplugging Derek.
"I wish you could see this. Weather’s classic Seattle. Oh, the water is so blue.
It may be the most
perfect ferryboat ride I’ve ever had in my life.
I love you. I love our family … I’ll see you when I get home."
- Derek Shepherd
PS: I think this is the first time that Grey's Season Finale did not have a crazy cliff hanger. Maybe Shonda gave everyone a chance to breathe and recover from her cruelty. Everyone was happy at the end except for April and Jackson. Shonda could have just ended the series with the last scene. Sorry, I'm still bitter and recovering from Derek's death.
