MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD FOR CLOCKWORK PRINCESS
Harry Potter made me cry when Snape's real story was told in the Prince's Tale chapter. I also became emotional while reading the Epilogue.
The finally-a-happy-ending for Luce and Daniel in Rapture made me sob in happiness. Reading the last line - "Luce and Daniel fell in love for the first - and the last - time," made me feel like I've been holding my breath while reading the entire series and I was only able to continue breathing when finally I've learned that they won their fight for love. Even now, when I read those words, I feel like crying for them.
Hunger Games, The Fault in our Stars, A Thousand Splendid Suns all left me crying but with a good feeling despite the tragedies.
But Clockwork Princess is different. Clockwork Princess broke me. I admit that I am a cry baby. Even happy endings make me cry. But I never thought a book can make me cry my heart out. I've felt it countless times but only while watching tv series and anime like Secret Garden, Rooftop Prince, Code Geass and others. They have actors, images and animations that can move my heart so it isn't really surprising.
But last night, it was the first time that I felt helpless for a book. I never thought that mere words can exhaust me emotionally. I almost woke my mom because I needed to hold and hug someone. I tried to look for things that could cheer me up but to no avail.
It was actually a happy ending but it's not entirely happy. Tragedies and sacrifices happened but love still conquered all. I really can't explain it, but for me, the mood of the series is somehow gloomy. They all found a happy ending, but if you look at it closely, there is actually sadness.
And now I need you to do for me what I cannot do for myself.
For you to
be my eyes when I do not have them.
For you to be my hands when I cannot
use my own.
For you to be my heart when mine is done beating.
- Jem Carstairs
If you've read it, you'll know that it won't actually matter if you are on Team Will or Team Jem. Personally, I'm on Team Jem maybe that's why I find it gloomy. Oh well, I've been prepared ever since the first book that Jem will die somewhere in the series. And that Will will eventually be with Tessa thus continuing the Herondale bloodline. I know that one of the three would make the ultimate sacrifice in order for the two of them to be happy.
Despite being on Team Jem, I am not against Will. I also want Will to find happiness and be with Tessa. I want him to finally love and be free from the things that bind him. Like Tessa, I love them both but has to choose one.
Most people are lucky to have even one great love in their life.
You have found two. - Woolsey Scott
The severing of the Parabatai bond between Will and Jem was heart wrenching. Will's grief radiated toward me that I almost became angry. It wasn't fitting for Jem to just die like that. I've always thought that he'll die with either Will or Tessa by his side. And when it was revealed that Jem became a Silent Brother, I almost dropped the book on the floor.
Should I be happy that he is alive? Well, I should. However, he isn't devoid of emotions. He still love both Will and Tessa. I think that is the reason why it wasn't entirely happy for me. He is going to live for a long time without the two people that he loves most in the world. Will and Tessa's goodbye to Jem after becoming a Silent Brother shattered my heart into pieces. (Is it normal that I'm crying right now?)
I should really be happy because Will and Tessa lived happily with their children despite Tessa's immortality. If Cassandra Clare ended the book with Will and Tessa in the Ravenscar manor, I would have been smiling after reading it until now. But no, she put an epilogue which made me remember Jem and his loneliness, which made me cry all over again. Despite that, I'm glad that Jem finally was able to be with Tessa.
Seriously, I don't know why I'm complaining when I actually got a happy ending. But you know, I feel lighter now. Maybe I just needed an outlet. I just needed to write about what I felt with the book.
Anyway, learning about Tessa and Will's children really got me excited. You know I love the Herondales. I just wish that Jace will start using Herondale. And what made me happier is that everyone is connected with one another - the Herondales, the Lightwoods and the Fairchilds.
I love you now more desperately, this moment, than I have ever loved you before,
and in an hour I will love you more than that.
- Will Herondale
Certainly, The Infernal Devices series left a mark in me just like JK Rowling's Harry Potter and the Fallen series by Lauren Kate. Will, Jem and Tessa would be forever etched in my heart.
